What a week!? Remember when I said I was a stress eater and I was going to work on that? Yea, God gave me quite a few opportunities this week. I have to say that I did not stress eat though, so I am quite proud of myself in that respect. However, I do feel that I struggle alone sometimes. When you were little and you were scared, who did you run to? Your mom and dad. When you got your first broken heart, did your mom take you shopping or watch movies with you and eat ice cream? Now as you are raising your kids, who do you call for advice? Your mom. I, unfortunately, do not have that kind of relationship with my mom. I have tried so hard to bond with her, but it just isn't happening. I am adopted (have been since birth) but I am nothing like my adoptive parents. I love them and always longed to hear "Good job!" or "I'm proud of you." I rarely got it. I have led quite a successful life- going to college, getting degree after degree; starting a family of my own; having a great career. My brother is a jobless mooch who plays on the computer all day and lives at home with my parents even though he will turn 30 this year. They treat him like he is such a gem. I don't want him to be treated worse, I would just love to have a relationship where I can go to my mom for things. I am going through a difficult situation in my life- one of the toughest ever. I really need my mom to be there for me. Instead, she adds to my stress and grief by complaining that I should have my daughter's 1st birthday party on a different date so she could watch her favorite football team play on tv. She actually threw a fit about it. I tried to do what I could, but it was too late to change the date. She told me how disappointed she was. Moms are supposed to comfort you and tell you things are going to be ok, not be selfish and add to your stress. I tried to talk to her about it. I was trying to be so kind and loving, spilling out my heart that I wanted the kind of close relationship that we never had. The response I got was heartbreaking. She told me that she had the right to feel however she wanted and she wasn't going to lie about her disappointment. She didn't get it. She is like this with everything. My husband feels so sorry for me. He has a great set of parents. They love me, but they don't want to overstep their boundaries. So, I am looking for a mom figure. I need that. I never had it growing up. I think I deserve to have a mother figure that I can talk to and learn from. My relationship with my own daughters is such a blessing. We are so close. But no matter how old you get, sometimes you just need your mom.
I'm sorry your relationship with your mom isn't what you want it to be, I understand completely how you feel. I don't have a very close relationship with my mom either. I told her I was going back to school and her remark was why so you can quit again and when I told her I was taking photography she said why don't you taking nursing? We just don't seem to see eye to eye on anything. I kind of feel the same way you do, my brother is the gem to my parents and I'm just the disappointment. I've just given up on having a close relationship with my mom because she is such a negative person and I don't need that in my life right now. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to I'm here for you.
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Thank you! Moms have the greatest opportunity to change the world by raising the future generation. It is sad that some moms don't take advantage of that opportunity, nor do they they see all the blessings they are missing out on by not having a close relationship with their children.
ReplyDeleteAww i am sorry you are going through such times with your mom all i can say is it is her loss
ReplyDeleteHugs to you. I'm a newbie here but my heart goes out to you. If there is anything I can do, drop me a line.
ReplyDeleteJudy
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ReplyDeleteAwww, I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time right now with your Mother. My relationship has been hard with my mother as well, but due to very different reasons. At times I feel like I've lost my mom, as she's not the same person that she was when I grew up. It's a bit heartbreaking so I can understand when you say that you feel alone sometimes and lost. Yes we do need our mothers sometimes, and when we feel we can't go to them it's sad. I've cried a few times about it. My hope for you is that you can find someone to confide in and who can be a shoulder to cry on when you need it. I know it's not easy to find that person though as I'm even still looking, so until then, continue to write your thoughts down here, and confide in your friends and other family members and hopefully that will make you feel better. It has for me.
ReplyDeleteI just turned 30 this year and have lost both of my parents to heart disease ( I was pregnant both times). It is so hard when I need to talk about one of the kids' issues or just need a break from reality and can't make that connection. Your situation makes me think of how lonely it can feel when you don't feel the support and love you need to get to the next step. Weight loss is just like that for me. It's like i need someone to hold my hand through it. I hope the blog comments help you a little, even though it's not a replacement of what you need.
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